7 Reasons to Be Thankful for a Breakup
So, recently, like really recently, I experienced heartbreak and I’m still experiencing it. I don’t know if it’s from all of the broken hearts that I’ve endured in the past, but I can appreciate heartbreak. Even now as I feel completely ripped apart, I can still appreciate it. Breakups—romantic or friend—have almost always been my wake-up calls. So, this week I’m going to share # reasons to be thankful for breakups (besides you getting out of a bad situation).
They teach invaluable lessons.
Above everything else, I have always been a lover. So, it usually takes a breakup to give me a good kick in the butt to change my ways. Recently, I learned some valuable lessons in attention, effort, and money management.
They rearrange priorities.
Sometimes (a lot of times) I can’t tell the difference between my wants and my needs. Food becomes a want and staying in bed becomes a need. God (in my case) becomes a want and pleasure becomes a need. Everything gets flipped around. But a breakup just kind of slaps me across the face and yells “What were you thinking?!”
They force independence.
That person that I relied on so much is no longer there for me to completely smother with my love and depression. I have to remember how to take care of myself, how to have fun alone, how to reach out to my other loved ones.
Love shows up in unexpected places.
When I’m hurting, I have to tell someone. But when I’m brokenhearted, I’m an absolute slobbering mess. I end up telling everyone. Or if I can’t say it, it’s very clearly on my face. People that I pushed away or that I thought had forgotten about pop up to offer their help. More often than not, I don’t take their help because that would hurt more, but the fact that they offer helps.
Dreams get dusted off.
I lose myself in any sort of deep relationship. I put my dreams on the shelf and I tell myself I’ll get to them one day, that the relationship is worth more of my attention. This breakup, in particular, has made me really think about what my dreams are. I’m more determined to write a novel now. I’ve always told myself that I wanted to, but I could never seem to finish one. But I’m going to do it. And then I’m going to finish another. And I’m going to keep going until I get one published. I don’t need to be the next J.K. Rowling, but I want to say that I’m a novelist.
They strengthen everything.
When a person has to pull themselves off from the lowest moments of their life, they usually end up tearing down their world and building a new one. They bring in the floods and wash away all of the terrible things in their life to make room for all of the amazing new things that they’re bringing in. The whole “you’ll come out stronger” cliche is true, but people usually think of it as the ubiquitous strength of character. However, it’s so much more than that. In my current case, I’m going to have to take the bull by the horns and get my money act together, figure out how to set and remember goals, and learn how to love myself.
They drag out honesty.
For the relationship regarding this breakup, I was honest with the other person, but I wasn’t honest with myself—I’m not sure if that’s better or worse. I have a big honesty policy when it comes to my own relationships, but those policies never applied to my own self-talk. Without any reason I understood, I would tell myself lies. I would lie to myself that I didn’t love myself, but I have no idea why. I would lie to myself that I wasn’t good enough, even though I had all the proof that that wasn’t true. And I believed them. But now that I’m standing in the rubble of that relationship, I am finally being honest with myself. I do love myself. I am good enough. Those truths make me feel like I can breathe again. The other person never gave me any reason not to believe them, he would actually try to get me to believe them, but for whatever reason, it took a breakup for me to finally get there.
So, that’s seven (personal) reasons that I’m thankful for breakups. Breakups are hard and they hurt and they make your emotions do strange things, but good comes out of it. Eventually, the good that you take away from a breakup becomes part of your daily life. Things hurt less. Then one day you realize that it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Are you thankful for breakups? Let me know in the comments below.